Hi, my name is Marisa and I’m Aurelio and Esta’s aunty, Anita’s sister. Along with Aurelio and Esta I inherited a share of the land and buildings in Italy which, like them, I’m giving back to the Lord for His purposes. All three of us would love to see the property used for God’s glory but, as it’s important for people to be able to trust Christian ministries before parting with their finances, I’m writing this little testimony in the hope that you’ll see we’re all genuine Christians, not out to line our own pockets, but out to serve the Lord with sincere hearts.

So, where to begin? I grew up in a very distressing environment. For the sake of space I’ll skip the details. When I was 4 years old, my mum had the first of many nervous breakdowns. There were lots of arguments in the family and mum and dad eventually parted ways. Mum remarried and my stepfather brought occult practices into the home which, as a little girl, I found very frightening. I encountered many distressing situations early in life so much so that by the age of around 9 years old I basically ‘shut down’. I made every effort to lock people out of my life because all they ever brought was pain. I also made every effort to block out painful memories so that by the time I reached my early twenties, there were lots of past events which I simply couldn’t remember.

In my late teens I began experiencing tremendous confusion and constantly questioned what life was all about. What is the point of it all? Do we live and die and that’s it? By my early twenties, it felt as though I was losing my mind. To escape this ongoing emotional pain I toyed with the idea of suicide. Thankfully someone told me about Jesus and on May 11th 1987 I asked Jesus to forgive me and come and take over my life. In bed later that evening the Lord spoke. He said “Even if your life gets worse while following Me, are you still willing to follow Me?”

I thought about His words. My choice was either to commit to following Jesus, have a rotten lifebut at least I’d end up in heaven at the end of the day. Or, reject Jesus, I’d still have a rotten life but worse than that, I’d end up in hell at the end of the day. I opted for the former, I said, “Yes, Jesus, I’ll follow you”. When I woke up the next morning I knew I’d been transferred from the kingdom of

darkness to God’s Kingdom of light. It seemed as though I saw colour for the first time in my life. Even the flowers and trees seemed to be worshipping God. I was flooded with God’s love and an inner knowledge and assurance that God loved me, I was His child and I would be with Him in heaven when I died.

For the first 3 years of my Christian walk life was WONDERFUL. I encountered the occasional trial but nothing knocked me off my feet. After 3 years I began to sense the presence of Jesus in a very powerful way. It seemed as though Jesus Himself clothed me with His power (some Christians refer to this as God’s ‘anointing’). Every day for 6 weeks, 24 hours a day I sensed the power of God on my life. It was AMAZING. Then one day the Lord spoke to me again, through His Word and into my heart. He said “Don’t be surprised at the painful trial which is about to happen. Didn’t I warn you about it long ago?” I’d forgotten what He’d said 3 years earlier, was I still willing to follow Him even if life got worse? Two or three days later, during my prayer time, a sudden anxiety and fear gripped my mind like a metal vice, and for the next 8 years I experienced a non-stop battle with fear, panic, anxiety, depression, nightmares and a hellish one-year battle with the powers of darkness.

To hear more about how God healed me from that, please check out this YouTube video “A True Testimony. Jesus Heals Today by Marisa De More” on a channel called From Fiery Trials To Freedom.

Some of my battles were spiritual in nature, but I later recognised other symptoms as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). The human mind isn’t designed to experience trauma after trauma and if we don’t process and grieve those experiences when they happen, the memories continue to resurface, bringing with them all the original feelings of fears, stress, depression and so forth. Those 8 years were so difficult that if Jesus hadn’t walked with me so powerfully during those 6 weeks before the trial began, I would have walked away from Jesus, believing He didn’t exist.

In 2004, around 5 or 6 years after Jesus healed me from PTSD, I started experiencing chronic fatigue. This was diagnosed as ME/CFS in 2018, a condition where the body isn’t able to make acontinuous supply of energy on demand. This left me feeling as though I was wearing a concrete coat all of the time. Even lifting up a fluffy bed blanket was such hard work that it felt like trying to lift my own body weight. Sometimes I was bed-bound, other times sofa-bound. At the time of writing this testimony in April 2026, I still have ME/CFS, 22 years and counting. Coupled with my husband’s ill health and his eventual death, I reached a stage in 2024 where I felt completely broken for the second time. I couldn’t understand why Jesus healed me from being mentally and emotionally broken in 1998, and yet here I was again, in a battle for my life, feeling spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally broken for the second time.

Then one day, while browsing online, I came across a book called ‘Dancing On Stones’ by Edith Harrington, and felt led to buy it. Now, nothing in me wanted to buy it. The front cover had an image of a ballerina dancing on stones and as I’ve never developed appreciation for that particular art form it didn’t appeal to me. I only purchased the book because I felt prompted by the Lord to do so. At some point after buying the book I just broke down in tears. Why did God heal my brokenness back in 1998 but allow ME/CFS into my life? Ill health has prevented me from working which means without an income I can’t choose where I live. I’ve also lived underneath the noisiest neighbour on my estate for 25 years which is distressing at the best of times but even worse when you feel ill. I haven’t been able to pursue a meaningful career, socialising has been impossible, hobbies have been taken away … the list goes on. For the second time in my walk with Jesus I felt completely broken. If only I had the energy to move, to get up and do things I would, but I can’t. After 21 years of discouragement, disappointments and debilitating ill health I was spent; too broken to move, quite literally.

I went to bed with these things on my mind and picked up Edith’s book to read. Before I began reading I had a strong sense from Jesus that He was going to speak to me through whatever I read next. In trepidation I opened the chapter, began reading and came to these words: “and again I will build you”. I sensed God’s Holy Spirit speaking into my heart. Yes, He had healed mybrokenness back in 1998. Yes, He knew I was broken for a second time, but He was going to rebuild me. He will build again. Praise the Lord. I turned the page and then read these words from a poem by Robert Lewis Stephenson:

“Help us with the grace of courage that none of us be cast down while we sit lamenting over the ruins of our happiness. Touch us with the fire of Thine altar, that we may be up and doing, to rebuild the city.

God again spoke powerfully into my heart. But was it possible? Is God going to rebuild me so that I can be up and doing? While reading the book I felt particularly physically debilitated, but here I was, being prompted by God to read about God rebuilding me so that I could be up and doing to rebuild the city.

These words were especially pertinent to me because 20 years earlier God spoke to me about future discouragements. It started in 2004. I was in prayer and the Lord spoke the word “Sanballat”. I’d never heard this word before and wondered what it meant. It sounded like an Indian curry to me. The Lord spoke again “Nehemiah 4”, and a third time “ring-fenced”. I then read Nehemiah chapter 4 and nearly fell off my chair to discover it was all about an enemy of Israel called Sanballat who came to discourage God’s people, to stop them from rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem, the city where God’s people lived. As I mused on these things I understood the Lord saying that my future would be filled with circumstances which would come to discourage me, just as Sanballat came to discourage Israel, but that God had ring-fenced me for His purpose. Sure enough the following 20 years brought discouragement after discouragement until by 2024 I felt completely broken. But, praise the Lord, that same year God spoke clearly about rebuilding the broken things; and true to His Word, since summer last year, 2025, God has been doing amazing things in healing places in my heart which I never knew were broken! I’d like to share just one or two examples to encourage anyone who’s also feeling broken hearted.

So, last year over a period of around 6 weeks (I don’t remember how long exactly) I kept being woken up by the sound of someone knocking on my door. Sometimes it happened in the middle of the night, other times it happened at 6.30am. One morning it sounded so real that I got out of bed to answer my door. There was no one there. I can’t remember how many times it happened, maybe 5 or 6. I began suspecting it was the Lord because some of the knocks seemed to carry an urgency, while others seemed to sound like a happy knock, if that’s possible! At least once it sounded as though the knocks were on my heart. So, I began asking Jesus that if these ‘door knocks’ were from Him, would He let me know what it meant. Two or three weeks later I received my answer. I listened to a message by Greg Laurie, a Calvary Chapel pastor in the US and he told this story: Imagine Jesus comes knocking on your door with a big removal van outside. You invite Him in and He asks if He can take away your carpet. You don’t want Him to, but you eventually agree. He returns another day, knocking on your door asking to remove your sideboard. You protest that it’s an antique piece and could be worth a fortune in the future but you eventually agree to let Him take it. Jesus continues returning day after day until everything, even the wallpaper is gone. So that leaves you with nothing, literally, you have an empty house. But then the following week Jesus returns with His removal van and starts moving in carpets and a sofa and furniture chosen by Him. When He’s finished you look around and you’re so grateful for what Jesus has given because it looks so much better than the furniture He took away. Jesus is the Master interior designer. And so, Greg continued, is Jesus knocking on the door of your heart? Is He asking to come in and remove the things you’ve erected? If so, He wants to remove them and replace them with furniture of His choice.

Bang. This is what all the dreams were about. Jesus wanted to take out things in my heart/life and replace them with furniture of His choosing. So, I got before the Lord the following morning and began praying, and out of no where I found myself crying uncontrollably. I can’t remember exactly what the Lord dealt with that morning, but over the course of a few weeks, different memories kept coming to the fore such as shame for old sins or great sorrow for things I’d lost either due to my long-term health condition or other things I’d had no control over – a career, children, a home and so forth. On each occasion as I yielded up my sorrows to Jesus, Jesus did something to bring healing to my broken heart. Oh it was wonderful. I began feeling gloriously free.

Sometime afterwards, however, I became conscious of another heavy weight. As a young Christian, back in 1987, I believe God gave me a promise which – 39 years later – still hasn’t come to pass. It’s something which has always been there at the back of my mind, but by 2025 it was becoming unbearably burdensome, like a canon ball in my chest. It felt as though I was in a constant battle. Had God really spoken to me? Was it my imagination? It seemed as though God, over the years, continually confirmed His promise but, come on, 39 years later and it still hasn’t come to pass. Was it really from God? The burden was so heavy that it began affecting me emotionally, I felt so sorrowful for much of the time. Then one day at the beginning of 2026 Aurelio and Esta came to visit. We prayed and during that visit Aurelio said he felt as though God was saying I was carrying a burden and had been carrying it since before I met my late husband, Barry. That was true. I didn’t meet Barry until 1991. God had given me this particular promise in 1987. I explained that God had given me a promise but I was burdened because I didn’t know whether it was from the Lord or not, and if it was from the Lord, it was taking an awfully long time to come to pass! Aurelio then began to talk about similar experiences which he’d gone through and as he spoke, the Lord just lifted the burden. It disappeared in one fell swoop. From that point on I felt as light as a feather, as though something was missing, it was the strangest feeling but I’m eternally grateful to Jesus for removing that burden. The rebuilding work was in full swing. But there was more to come.

Around 3 or 4 weeks ago, at the beginning of April 2026, I came across a video by a lady called Jen Rees Larcombe. She had a large family, she fostered lots of children, wrote books and had a wonderful life. She then became ill and ended up in a wheelchair. As you might imagine she was devastated by this, life became so restrictive. Her anger became so fierce that one day she felt as though she was going to kill someone. She just needed to scream but didn’t want to frighten the children. At that point in her illness she was just about able to use elbow crutches so she walked to the bottom of their large garden in the countryside. Unfortunately, at the bottom of the garden was a large pond of cow dung where wet manure from the adjacent field trickled through. She accidentally fell into this pond and couldn’t get out due to the weakness of her arms. She was soangry with God and called Him a few choice names. She basically said that this is what her life felt like, just a load of cow s***. But instead of God rebuking her or even ignoring her, He simply poured in His love and healed her broken heart. She was amazed but ever so grateful. She stayed in the cow dung until she was rescued, but after that she began serving God with a different heart. After 8 years in a wheel chair, however, God miraculously healed her. Unfortunately at some point after that her husband left her with 5 children for another woman, after 30 years of marriage. Jen understandably went into a deep, deep depression. Thankfully, God came to her rescue again and as she learnt to forgive, God began healing her broken heart. Out of those devastating circumstances she set up a charity from her bungalow and used her garden as a safe space for Christians to visit, pour out their heart and receive prayer and healing from Jesus. The ministry ran for around 30 years until just after Jen’s death in 2022. Scores and scores of people came to receive healing from Jesus for their broken hearts.

So, while listening to one of Jen’s testimonies for the umpteenth time, she talked about experiencing God’s love while stuck in the cow dung but this time I heard her also saying she felt safe. At that point I burst into tears. My heart felt as though it was being ripped to shreds. I’ve NEVER felt safe. God didn’t keep me safe from trauma as a child. He didn’t keep me safe from the distress of my mother’s mental breakdowns, He didn’t keep me safe from occult oppression in the home. When I became a Christian He didn’t keep me safe from depression or anxiety or nightmares or demonic oppression. How could I trust God to keep me safe when He’d never kept me safe? I just didn’t feel safe. In that moment God gave me a supernatural sense of feeling safe. It stopped me in my tracks. This was a new experience. It felt wonderful. As I thought about these things I understood God saying that even though He’d never promised to keep me safe from harm in this life, He promised to keep me safe for eternity. I was safe for eternity. Praise the Lord. Another burden lifted and another piece of my broken heart was mended.

There’s so much I’d love to share but these are just a few of the ways the Lord has been reaching into my heart to heal places I never knew existed. The Lord also spoke to me through a lady called Carol Bostock who worked alongside Jen. Carol points out how we all so often put our painful experiences into a ‘pain place’ like a cupboard or a box deep inside us, we try to push them down, out of sight. But Jesus wants us to bring them out, expose them to His light and allow Him to heal our broken hearts. Isaiah 61:1 talks about the future ministry of the coming Messiah, Jesus. When He comes He will come to “heal the broken hearted”. Similarly, Isaiah 53:4 talks about Jesus coming to “carry our sorrows”. The healing ministry of Jesus doesn’t refer to physical healing only, but to spiritual healing as well – He removes our sins and He heals our broken hearts. For whatever reason, we know that not every child of God enjoys physical healing here on earth. If God healed us from every malady then we’d never die! But as far as I currently understand things, God wants to heal the broken hearts of everyone who comes to Jesus. I say this because it’s impossible to build a strong house on broken foundations; and how can we enjoy the fullness of joy in Jesus while simultaneously living with a broken heart? If I’m wrong, I pray that Jesus will show me.

In closing I’d like to share one more thing. Around 8 weeks ago, February or March 2026, I sensed the Lord telling me to “Open the door”. I prayed about the meaning and a few weeks later I found my answer. Even though YouTube is a source of much false information, it’s also a tremendous tool used by God to encourage His children. So, for some reason a random video popped up, streamed by the UK evangelist J.John. He told this true story:

He once took a team of 12 evangelists on a Christian retreat to a monastery somewhere in the UK. The rooms were typically sparse, often containing nothing but a bed. The abbot told J.John that he was being given the best room in the monastery. He didn’t have just a bed but one bed PLUS a desk and lamp!! High comfort indeed. Unfortunately, J.John wasn’t too happy about having to share a communal bathroom. To avoid being at the end of the queue each day, he woke up every morning at 5 am to have his wash and shave before the other evangelists used it. At the end of their 5 day retreat J. John bent down to pick up his bag which was near a door. He’d assumed the door was just a wardrobe and hadn’t bothered opening it. But as he picked up his bag to leave, the door swung slowly open. Behind the door was a fully fitted bathroom! The best room in the monastery contained its own en suite toilet and washing facilities! At that point he just sensed the Lord saying to him “J.John, open the door”. There are better things at the other side if only we’d open the door.

The light bulb went on in my heart. When God asked me to open the door a couple of months earlier, He’d been talking about me trusting Him, there are better things to come but I have to trust God. Given all the ‘door knocking’ dreams from last year, things are falling into place. I’ve been opening the door of my heart and He’s been doing a wonderful work of healing.

So, it’s my hope and prayer for anyone reading this that you too will know the love of God healing all the broken pieces of your heart. Jesus wants to heal but He asks you to open the door of your heart, inviting Jesus into the centre of your suffering and pain. Jesus never fails to keep His Word. He came to heal the broken hearted – and that includes YOU (Isaiah 61:1).

It’s also my hope and prayer as Aurelio and Esta relocate to Italy, along with any future helpers, that the Lord will use them to minister the healing love of Jesus in spiritual, physical, emotional and practical ways, for His glory.

Every blessing and shalom 💖 🕊️